Alcohol warnings

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

Copenhagen Angel Lyrics

Well she rolls her own cigarettes with the work of just on hand She acts mean and she cusses I know she wish she were a man She got her teeth knocked out by a bucking horse And when I told her that It made her look tough She just grinned and said I like it that way And then she loaded up her lip with snuff She's my snoose queen she's my Copenhagen angel She's my Beech Nut bunny she's my Red Fox brush hog She can ride a bareback horse and she can really hook into a bull She never misses her saddle bronc out and she rides it like a spurrin' fool She team ropes with the best of them ties a calf in 9.3 She'll dogs steers just for fun and make a fool out of you and me She's my snoose queen...Oh well a buckle polisher she's dang sure notShe wins her own in all the tough spotsChasing cowboys just ain't her style. It's winnin' the prize money that makes her smileShe's got a plug in both her cheeks she's got Copenhagen in her lip She's got a roll-your-own stuck between her teeth and I've never even seen her spitShe's my snoose queen...

Im really bored

Well since i haven't wrote a blog in ages i figured that i prob should. However i really don't have anything interesting to say. Most of the time a person really can't shut me hope, but right now i have absolutely nothing to say. So im gunna header now and try to do so school work, but theres a good chance that i will end up not doing any, i prob will just go on MSN or facebook, but what ever the weekends just bout here and i will have plenty of time to do my school work on the weekend.

Revenge Is Sweet

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance."You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs."You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"